And here I am, Writing after one year, A dead Blogger, you can call me.
Caught with college, internship and the like.
As I came down here to write something today, and I finished writing a blog by compiling from my personal extracts, I realized, posting it may not be a very friendly idea and my sister seconded. Became too worldly maybe!
So, I am writing down this incident that really caught my eye, and hence I named it self defence.
I am a bad story teller, so bear with me awhile.
There are these days when you don't get sleep at all, or you fight with everybody around for switching on the lights , even the night lamp, or the distant sound of a car honking on somebody's door irritates you. It was one of those nights. I was very irritable and cursed almost every possible thing in the world.I cursed the government for the power cuts, I cursed them for the price hikes,I cursed my neighbours for laughing aloud, and finally seeing no positive responses from those around me , dejected I just went off to sleep. Again, in an hour I was wide awake as the others around me had lulled themselves to sleep.I weighed the different possibilities, of listening to music, reading watchig the television or preparing some exotic dish. nothing seemed to work out.
The clock kept ticking , I tried to sleep, all failed attempts. Finally, at around 4 a.m. I woke my dad up, he made grumpy faces at me and told me how insensitive I was to keep hovering around like that in the middle of the night , and slept again, but I was determined to wake him up. I told him that I was bored and he should take me for a drive. Maybe my chirpy attitude intrigued him , but he got up, and told me that we were going to this very famous temple of the city. I was happy to go on a drive. And so we went, Enjoying the beauty of the rising sun which I generally don't get to see, mostly because I've been the night person.
As we entered the main gate, and walked towards the hall where the pooja was taking place, I could see people rushing , all in the same direction and some of them shouted, that it had already begun. It all came back to me, like dejavu , I had been there before. As I was walking fast, trying to match up with my father's pace, a boy in a red T-Shirt and slightly faded blue denims brushed past me. Well, for once I got really irritated at him, but then I avoided, I noticed him walk and realized that he had a limp.
I saw my parents calling back at me, telling me that I was so slow and lethargic and I don't understand the sanctity of things, well I just submitted to whatever they told me, thinking we are in the house of God, this discussion could wait awhile.And as always the atmosphere was beautiful, people singing their prayers , the oneness of the voice always amazed me.Some of them kneeling on the ground , raising their hands , mumbling their prayers. Tears trickled down for some as they caught the first glimpse of their Lord. Amidst all this I saw a young teenage boy sitting on the floor swaying to the beats of the clanky sounds and the prayers , throwing his hands in the air and singing out aloud. Everybody took turns to look at him, I stood just next to him, clapping , trying to connect with the beats, he just swayed back and forth and again. He was suffering from a Psychiatric Illness. I wondered what got him here, the faith ? Or was he just told to come here. While I had these thoughts in my mind, I saw a group of children looking at him in amazement, and the next thing I saw that the boy got up and charged towards the kids and raised his hand , a gesture which meant that he would beat them, scared , all of them left immediately. He threw a look at me, my mother clutched on to my arm for a second, but I re-assured her that he wouldn't cause any harm. And a look of understanding passed between us, he smiled and I nodded back, because I knew what he was doing, just saving himself from the eyes of the world, putting in simpler words, he was defending himself. I closed my eyes and prayed for his long and happy life.
"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not here the music" -Nietzsche
